I know this is not what most people think about when they hear the phrase “ happy new years,” but what I am referring to is the years and the things I knew then and know now. As a child, I knew I was not wanted by my parents, yet I never knew why. As a child, I knew right from wrong, yet never knew how to obey one over the other. As a child, I knew that we had to go to school, yet I knew that this was not a good place for me to be.
I know things now because of the things I knew growing up. You are usually the end results of your environmental conditioning with those who are in charge of you such as; parents, or any other form of guardians. Even those who seem to raise themselves are subject to what they knew and what they know. Every January people talk about making resolutions of change for this New Year.
We all have hopes of changes that improve our lives. We also have some illusions of what the changes could bring us. What I mean is that if we don’t really change our ways or cannot be consistent in the changes we try to make, then we start to lose hope of ever mastering these changes so crucial to our happiness. What happens when we vow earnestly to stop eating sweets, or over eating, or eating during the night, or drinking to drunkenness, or anything else that claims the power over our resolve?
What power do we believe we possess? If we truly originated any kind of power then our plight or self control would have positive outcomes and not the negative conditions we end up in. We find ourselves feeling helpless so we conjure up some mystical strength in the form of positive thinking. The power to overcome most problems usually is obtained by a deep understanding of the root cause of the problem(s) and then we can see how our thinking mislead us to act in the wrong manner.
Yes, I knew what I wanted but did not know how to obtain it. There are people out there that don’t suffer from your problem(s) yet they claim to have the solution, and nine times out of ten, they don’t. It is no wonder we want to believe our minds can save us or change us for the better. I was always convinced that this time would really be the magic one. I would really stop eating the bad foods, I would stop smoking, I would stop beating my children, I would stop lying, I would be a better wife and a better mother and always the same end results, failure! I knew many things in the course of my life, but knew nothing that really saved me. It was not until my knowing God, did I gain some kind of power over my life. Oh, yeah, why did this give me power?
The power to change my life was given to me along with the greatest love I’ve ever known. The power was revealed to me when I could admit I was a sinner through and through and was truly sorry for my transgressions. I had reached a point in my life when I KNEW I was wrong and real change was necessary for me to repair the damage I had done to my children. The KNEW years were many, but the knowing years were and are only a few.
You too will have many KNEW years under your belt, but the years that you discovered you KNEW nothing are the ones that humble us to allow us to change. Most of my life I KNEW I was doing wrong, and could not stop myself. I now KNOW that we are tricked into serving the physical mind and following the wrong master in the belief that we just have to try harder to overcome our weaknesses.
If your weakness are drugs, drinking, sex, pornography, over-eating, or any other type of conditioned hold on you, then you will need to KNOW that God is the real control and change needed to overcome any and all of your weaknesses. I make it sound sooo simple. I knew when I was wrong. I knew when I was helpless, I knew when I was confused, I knew when I lied, I knew when stole, drank to excess, over ate, took drugs, I knew basically for many years that I was helpless.
It was after forty years and countless NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS that I did not KNOW anything that would really change me. When I was blessed to find God, to KNOW GOD, it was then that I really KNEW changes for the better. You all can find a way to know a new you when you stop counting on New Year’s Resolutions to save you, and find a way to connect what you knew all through the years to lead you to repent and KNOW that this is the real change you have been waiting for all your life.
If you ever want to have a deeper understanding of how to empower you life for the better, and make those life need changes, then email me and we can talk. I can never put more than a few morsels here for lack of space. I extend my time and years of experience if you ever want a friend to talk with. Please place women speak on line in the subject line so that I can Identify where you found me. How many more Knew Years before your years are Know years?
Barbara L. Gonzalez
ponderland@charter.net
grace.seeker@gmail.com
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