THE SECOND CHOICE IS BEST

Ingrid is a special lady. She has overcome disappointment and loss in her life, but you would never know it.  She is an upbeat, happy woman who has many interests and friends.

Ingrid related to me in her delightful Swedish accent her story, “I was born in a hospital in Stockholm, Sweden seventy-eight years ago and have one older brother who lives in a suburb of Stockholm.  I lived as a child in a poor area of Stockholm with my parents and brother.  Because my mother had to work every day, my mother took me every day to nursery school.  I attended a co-ed school for three years, and then after third grade, I was in a girl’s only class.  I learned three languages and went to school every day and a half day on Saturday.  Children then had very few days off until summer vacation, so their education was very considered very important. 

During the summer, children were sent to camp or lived on a farm. I was sent to a farm where being the only girl, I was treated very special. I had fun playing with all the animals and enjoyed all the freedom.  However, when I was twelve years old, my mother died, and I had to get an after school job to help out.  Life was pretty hard then without my mother.

I met and married my first husband at fifteen, and because as a child I was never expected to do much in the way of homemaking, I had to learn how to be a wife. Before long, we had our first daughter.  In the early 50’s we decided to move to the United States and settled in New York. Later we had a son, and we made a decision to move to California where we had our second daughter.  Due to the fact that my husband was heavily involved in his work, we found ourselves drifting apart.  A short time later, we felt we just had to get a divorce.

Now, as a single mother raising my children, I had to go back to work.  I found a job in an electronics firm, and while I was working there, I met the man who was to eventually become my husband.  After three years of dating, we were married in 1963.  We found we both had a lot in common. He enjoyed my children and took them on camping and fishing trips, and we did a lot of traveling all together.  The children grew to care for him very much as he was a big part of their lives, and still is.

Then when my daughter was twenty-seven, tragedy struck.  My daughter came down with cancer and died within six months.  It struck me and my family very hard, and then my daughter’s son who was still a teenager died from an overdose of drugs.  It was very hard on me.  I was also saddened to lose a dear friend, who was a woman who had helped me a lot when I was a single mother.

But the greatest thrills of my life have been the births of my grandchildren, and I am very close to my family. My husband and I had a farm in California and loved living there.  I had many fond memories from my childhood days on a farm.  My husband and I decided to move to Oregon where we purchased another farm, and now raise llamas and I call them all by the names we gave them.”  Ingrid is a very contented woman and lives a happy life with her husband and family. She enjoys visiting Sweden, but is glad she made the choice to come to America.

She tries to get back to Sweden for vacation trips as often as she can. She said, “My old neighborhood has been renovated and looks much like Beverly Hills today.  It’s expensive and very desirable to live there now. I love to visit the old castles, and enjoy visiting the artist Carl Larsen’s home.  I also enjoy skiing in northern Sweden when I can.  And, of course, I visit my brother and my old friends.

Life in Sweden has changed over the years.  Women make good salaries and husbands and wives share responsibility for the children, with many men watching their children while their wives work.  Women are treated as equals, and definitely have status.”

However, Ingrid is happy living in the United States.  She has her husband who adores her, her farm, her family, and many friends and many activities that keep her busy.

Helen L. Price