Dear Sal:

My life's road has not been an easy one.  Partly bad choices and partly circumstance that left me with much heartache.  I got pregnant when I was sixteen, and the 50"s weren't so fabulous for an unwed mother.  My mother eventually consented to my marrying the father - mistake no. 2. It was not a match made in Heaven.  He was never faithful and turned abusive.  But, finally after three more children and putting up with the same treatment, I left him.  His family had money; I had nothing, and my children were taken away from me.  Then I married another man and helped raise his children, but he was an alcoholic, and once again, I had made a big mistake.  My third husband turned out to be the love of my life, and we had seven good years together.  But, he contracted cancer and suffered for years until he finally passed away.  I was devastated, but in the ensuing years I have learned to be satisfied with my life and feel content.   I still keep in touch with my children and feel calm and adjusted.  However, I recently met a man that is attracted to me and would like to start a relationship.  I can't help but feel skeptical; do I wish to get involved again?  I've had so many heartaches, I don't know if I'm up to another heartbreak.  This is a very nice man, and I really don't know what I should do.  Can you help me?

Too Many Heartbreaks

Dear Too Many Heartbreaks,

Whoa! Slow down! He hasn’t asked you to marry him yet. Why not go out and have some fun? You live once. You are in your sixties. Enjoy the rest of your life. Give him and yourself a chance. If it doesn’t seem like it’s working, go your own way. If it does work and you’re both happy, what are you waiting for? Because you have had three heartbreaks does not mean you will have four. Maybe this is your turn for happiness. Live your life to the fullest. Good luck!

Sal

Dear Sal,

My mother is driving me crazy.  I have a new baby and have read everything I can; I belong to an active group of mothers with young children. I feel that I am a capable loving mother. However, according to my MOTHER, everything that I am doing is wrong, or she has a better way of doing it. Last night she actually moved me aside to take over when my baby was fussy. I hate to avoid seeing her, but I don’t need the stress.

I’m the Mama

Dear I’m the Mama,

I believe we have more going on here than a know- it-all grandma. Perhaps, that is the first steps-- acknowledge her beloved position as the grandma. That is a very special relationship for your child to have, do not sell it short because of a lack of understanding that you and your mother are experiencing. Explain how you feel, ask her to limit her advice, and once in a while go the extra mile in patience and thank her for some of the knowledge she is sharing. With a little understanding from both of you, this child will reap the benefits of both a loving competent mom and a loving caring grandmother. This can be a win-win situation.

Sal