Dear Sal,

I am a new wife with a man I adore. Recently, he bought a beautiful puppy for me that I thought we would both be sharing in the raising of “our baby.” It all started out wonderful, but now I find that I am the one getting up in the night to take the puppy out. I am spending the most time and cleaning up of the puppy mess. I work full-time too. This is becoming a barrier between us. Should I fight to keep this puppy, or should I count this up for a loss? I am tired of being the single parent of this busy puppy.

Tired of Puppy Puddles

Dear Tired of Puppy Puddles,

Talk about it with your husband. It sounds like you jumped into this too quick, this responsibility of raising a baby puppy. It is not worth fighting over. You both are working full time, and it sounds like you do not have time to dedicate to this puppy. Count your losses, and put an ad in the paper. Consider it another learning experience, and get back to enjoying each other and your new marriage.

Sal

Dear Sal

I have been in love with my soul mate for almost 20 years. We are so compatible, and he is truly the only man that I have ever loved.  The only problem is he is married.  When we went together years ago, his children were young and needed him, I broke it off knowing that it was too painful a situation for everyone involved.  As years went by, I often thought of him although I married and divorced; there was still a connection to my love.  Well long story short, he contacted me after running into a mutual friend four years ago, he has raised his children and finally left his wife.  The problem is-- he is still not divorced, even though he was in a loveless marriage for years and stayed for duty.   I am at a point that I want to move forward. I want to grow old together; we have missed so many good years together. I don’t understand why he can not make this final move toward our future.  What should I do? He is always there for me when I need him; he is my comfort and my joy. Do I need to end this?

Tired of Waiting

Dear Tired of Waiting,

What are you waiting for? Are you enjoying your relationship?  Ask him why he is unable to make this final step, is it fear? Are there financial chains that need to be severed? Perhaps he has religious values that keep him entered into “until death do we part.”  What ever the fence, he needs to jump it, and you cannot create that. Change always comes from within.  For now look inside yourself and ask, am I happy? Does the situation cause insecurity, or is there a greater good in the union?  It is not as important how you live as it is to be happy and satisfied in your life. That also comes from within; no one else can create that for you.

Good luck, and stop waiting! Embrace what you want in life!

Yours truly,

Sal