Dear Sal,

Dear Sal,

I am upset to be in this situation, and I blame my son. A few months ago, the girl that he is living with (who hasn’t worked a day since she moved in with him) asked if she could borrow a hundred dollars. She told me they needed food and gas money for him to get to work and back for her job search. I was happy to be able to help. Now, three months later, and no reimbursement? Finally, I asked my son about it, and he said surprised, “She didn’t pay you?” Then he assured me she had the money in her purse. They left that evening without her payment. He insists on being with this girl and that he is responsible for paying me back. What do you think Sal, should I bill my son?

Miffed Mom

Dear Miffed,

Hold on a minute, it is an old saying that comes to mind:  Never a borrower or a lender be, and you will live carefree! Now that we have an understanding, I want to add when it concerns relatives, never give anything that you expect back! If you get pay back great, if not, it is always in better interest of family to let it go. As far as I can tell, it was the girlfriend who is in error. If loaning family money is a practice of yours, inform them both that in the future you are unable to help them because of this unfortunate event

Sal

Dear Sal

I have read articles on Womenspeak from women who have lost their husbands, and I applaud their spirit to go on. I must be weaker than they are, after losing my husband of thirty years, I don’t want to face another day. I feel like I don’t have anything left to go on for, how do I start?

Alone

Dear Alone

You just started! You can only do one day at a time, get up every day. Have a routine, one that includes exercise to aid stress and lend to a more restful evening. Reach out to family and friends you will be amazed at how eager they are to be supportive! At a time like this friendship is a golden blessing. Do you have a religious preference? Include spiritual strengthening into your life daily! Volunteer, helping others is a natural way to think less of our own problems or minimize the impact. You would be amazed at how good it feels to do something different, out of you comfort zone. This is a time for growth, embrace it. We do not stop until it is our time. Above all, know that this is an effort and it is one you must make, and as time goes by, you will be happy you did.

Peace find you

Sal