Dear Sal,

I am 24 years old and living in limbo!  I am living on a military base in Germany while my husband is serving in Iraq. I am bored; I am used to having a lot of attention and a happening social life. There is an attractive officer on the base who has been making life much more bearable for me. My husband is going to be back on leave soon, and I am trying to end this thing, however the officer is my husband’s superior and does not want to let it go. What do I do? I just wanted to have fun.

Looking for a way out

Dear Looking for a Way Out

You are way out, way out of line, you need to grow up, the world does not evolve around you,  and people are not there merely for your pleasure and entertainment.  You have hurt two men with your selfish games.  If you are bored, join a club start a hobby, get a job on base, grow up! You have to come clean. Tell both men the truth, decide if you want to be a married woman, or maybe your husband will decide for you!

Sal

Dear Sal,

I live in a small community that was recently shattered by the loss of a very well loved eighteen year old boy to a car accident. The service was over 500 people and extremely emotional. The parents are devastated, many of the people in attendance left cards of sympathy, and some included donations to help the family. 

I was asked to go through the cards and remove any checks and deposit them into the memorial fund. Later in the week, we would deliver the cards to the parents. Sal, I can only say what do people think? I was shocked by a few of the cards; one I opened had the newspaper clipping containing a picture of the wrecked automobile and the obituary of their beautiful son. It shocked me! What would the poor parents have done seeing that vehicle? The other surprise was a plain card advertising the Mormon Church, totally no connection to a sympathy card, it was the non-descript kind that they hand out on a street corner. I don’t know if I should include these items or lose them.

Bereaved and Bewildered

Dear Bereaved and Bewildered,

I do not believe the parents of this young man will benefit by these thoughtless submissions. In a time of grief, others often do not know what to say, the truth is you can not make it better, only comfort by supporting and listening. Hearing its God’s will is no comfort for a parent who will never see their child again, and inflicting a certain religious organization is certainly not a positive suggestion at this time. Everyone has a spiritual belief and that is what will see him or her through to their higher purpose; this needs to be respected. And above all, realize nothing can help but time to go through the various stages of the grieving process. Maybe more families need a liaison in these times.

Sal