Forging a Path

Every day, I found myself rushing home from work, and when I got there, silence greeted me. I would pour myself a glass of wine, sit down at the counter and look around at the clean house. Not a thing out of place: spotless and quiet. Nobody home, except me and the cat that would look at me quizzically, tilting its head to one side as if to say, what will you do now?

Good question. The kids are both grown and gone, and I am divorced. The thought of eating alone, watching movies on TV, reading in bed, shopping, and going to church alone—filled me with dread. Alone…Would I become one of those crazy ladies that keep adding more cats to the household?

I decided rather than becoming morose, reclusive or acquiring more cats, I would do something about it. I had to forge a new path and start planning my future, not dreading it.

I started getting busy. I accepted as many substitute teaching jobs possible, accepted a part-time free lance position with a local paper, and worked on-call for a financial institution as a receptionist. Also, I started church-hopping, visiting a different church nearly every week. I called my friends, and we try to meet each other once a month over drinks at local restaurants. I jumped into some huge projects like re-painting the house, staining the deck, landscaping, and remodeling the pond. Fortunately, I have a great family and friends that show up to help for these house painting party barbeques. When I mention barbeque now, everyone moans and says oh-oh.

I put my smiling face on an Internet dating site, and currently I’m not too impressed, but I’m trying to be optimistic. Anything’s possible. And I will start a full-time teaching position soon. Also, a friend of mine and I started this website where you dear reader are currently reading this article.

I still have my weepy lonely moments missing my kids, but I’m going to be okay. I think it’s important to stay busy, keep communication open with your kids, make plans, and be hopeful. This is a new path for me and with each step; I will gain strength, momentum, and the assurance that I am living my life fully.

Sharon Robinson

Empty Swings

By Sharon Robinson

The empty swings,
No children there,
The play yard is empty,
Basket balls lie in slumber,
Hoops are tattered,
Pretty dolls sleep in boxes,
Stuffed bears lie forgotten
The end of an era,
My children are gone…

What fills the empty?
Memories retold, pictures unfold,
Laughs and tears
Wine glasses refilled
Tragedies spilled,
Early mornings, clouds in coffee,
Eyes at the window watching,
Hoping…