DANCING WITH THE PAIN

Carlene is a woman of great strength and did not realize that she was about to face the greatest challenge of her life. After being in the hospital for an entire month, surviving two surgeries, blood clots in both lungs, and ulcers, God brought Carlene through. In three weeks time, she was to go from Arizona to California for her husband’s bypass surgery. He survived and was taken home. She was still weak from her own surgeries, but realized now that she needed to focus on him, instead of herself. He was so weak and needed her that she was glad she was there for him. But, he had a relapse, and was back in the hospital with inflammation in his lungs.

Carlene and her husband had been married for forty-eight years, and he had gone through various illnesses over time, but now it was even more difficult. Within two weeks he was put on life-support. She was still weak herself, and found herself once again sitting by her husband’s bedside. She was very concerned because he was not getting any better. A tube had been inserted down his throat and was too small, which made matters worse. The doctors confirmed that Eric would never recover or have any quality of life. She knew he couldn’t go on suffering like that. That was not the kind of man he was. The Doctor came to tell Carlene that it was up to her as it was her decision to “pull the plug.” In a moment like this we reach out for help. She asked her grown son and daughter what she should do. The children said it would have to be her decision; they would stand beside and support her.

Carlene made the decision after much prayer; she knew how much he was suffering and just couldn’t put him through anymore, and knew he wanted to be released from all of the pain and discomfort. She loved him too much to see him go through anymore. The decision wrung her heart. It was the hardest choice she had ever made, and it torments her still. Reeling from the blows of the loss and wanting to follow Eric’s wishes, she planned two funerals; one in Arizona and one in California. Both of them consisted of pastors’ being present and representatives from the Masons and the Army because he was a Veteran. Carlene spent much of the time planning these services from her bed, as she wasn’t completely recovered herself.

Carlene told herself, “Just do it.” So, she focused back on life, and closed the chapter with her husband. She treasures all of the wonderful memories they had over the years. She knew she was now on her own, and she rose to her new role. Carlene is a vivacious woman, energetic and strong in spirit. Her personal strength has grown through adversity. She visits her children and grandchildren. She’s active in various groups, has many friends, and loves to dance. She is also the president of the Lake Havasu Singles Club which has over 75 members. They inspire enthusiasm and life. Most of all, she loves to laugh and everyone around her is uplifted by her wonderful spirit. She thanks God everyday for giving her the strength to keep going. She still suffers pain from arthritis, and other ailments, but you would never know it, as she doesn’t complain. Carlene is a survivor and dances with the pain.

Helen Price