Women Speak Online

Mark, my Son

By Helen L. Price

On the day after Father’s Day, June 18, 2007, I received a phone call that informed me that my son Mark had just died. No, no, I shook my head, it can’t be. I was in disbelief and numb. How could this happen; Mark was only 52. Your children aren’t supposed to go before you do. My daughters were traumatized with me. We couldn’t believe he had gone so fast.

We had only learned he had cancer in March, and now in June he was already gone. He had just told me the week before on the phone that he was feeling much better, and the Doctor said the cancer cells were shrinking. We had all been thrilled to hear that, and were all hopeful he was beating the cancer. My son had so much more life to live, and now, how would his wife Marlene manage without him? They had been married for seventeen years and were still so happy and close. I was in denial. I cried all the time when alone. I tried to be brave, but it was impossible. I couldn’t think straight. My daughters couldn’t function very well knowing their brother was gone as well. I had always tried to be brave for my daughters in the loss of their father, who had passed away seventeen years earlier and had loved very much, but it was much harder now.

I tried to keep busy, but found myself so many times just sitting there, forgetting what I was supposed to be doing. I didn’t wish to be around anyone except my immediate family. Everyone sent condolence cards, which touched me but didn’t really help. As soon as I started to think about Mark, I would start crying again. I was trying to look composed, when I didn’t feel like it.

I read my Bible, and looked at cards and letters Mark had sent me, and photos with Mark and the family, because I needed to look at his face, but then I’d be crying again. My son had been very special to me, and I knew it was going to take a long time for all of us to heal. Mark has left a great void in our lives. But God has been good. He has kept me going, gives me strength, and keeping busy helps.

I know many other people have had similar or more severe tragedies in their lives, and I can readily sympathize what they go through. I am blessed I had a wonderful husband and son, and my daughters and I have grown even closer. So, I must take heart and treasure each day and try not to mourn, but remember all of the good times we all had together. Life is too short, so we must make each day count. Family is so important, so spending time with them and telling them how much you love them is of the utmost importance. We never know what tomorrow holds.