Women Speak Online

Internet Dating: The Do’s & Don’ts

Heidi is a vivacious successful woman in her forties who loves to shop. Perhaps it was that love of shopping that was the catalyst for her three year online dating frenzy. Heidi explained with a smile, “It was fun and I decided to do it, it was like shopping for men, and there was a lot to choose from. I dated three to four guys a week, and it was kind of fun, but if it doesn’t work you move on.”

Many people who have ventured to try online dating find disappointment and drop out in a few months. Heidi took dating to a new level, exhibiting the enthusiasm of playing a sport. One of the more positive aspects of dating in mass is far less trips are needed to the grocery store, although her teenage son complained of getting tired of eating restaurant Doggie bags.

When asked if she ever had a bad date, Heidi laughed good-naturedly and said: “Yes, I have had a few bad dates! One guy on our third date, which seems to be the clincher if it is going to work or not, he told me that he had ‘invested enough,’ and now it was time for me to ‘put out.’ Needless to say, nothing was being put out except this Prince Charming.

Another wretched dating excursion really left Heidi in a mess, “ We went back to my apartment to watch a movie, and while I was sitting waiting for my date to pour our wine in the kitchen, I heard a loud popping noise.” Heidi was unfamiliar with that kind of a noise and was about to investigate when, “ He made his excuses and then left abruptly. When I went into the kitchen much to my dismay, he had projectile vomited all over my ceiling, windows, and walls!” This one date took two and a half hours to clean up and thirty seconds to trash his emails!

Still undaunted, Heidi was searching for Mr. Right and meeting a lot of Mr. Wrongs. In her efforts to narrow her search, she looked for solidity in the perspectives occupation, only to find that there is no merit in this method of screening. Heidi recalled her date with Mr. Penny Pincher, “We went to a movie and he asked me to pay my own way, then he bought popcorn and ate it in front of me, and this was a Church Deacon.” Apparently her date had not heard that it is better to give then to receive!

Embarking further on the feigned path to a suitable suitor Heidi chose another well-known profession for stability. “He was a teacher!” Heidi said in dismay. “I went to his house; he gave me a tour of the house and told me that he was ‘kinky.’ He then showed me the swing in his bedroom! I said bye now, wow it’s getting late!” This was one woman that this teacher would not be giving any lessons to!

Despite all the negative aspects to online dating, Heidi was in deep and under an irresistible urge to parlay with possible danger. “One guy turned out to be a real player, he was a good looking smooth talker who invited me to Mexico. He asked for all of my information (ID, bank, credit card, etc..) which I gave him!” The flight to Mexico never transpired.

Heidi is an intelligent woman, and many people are lead by deception because it is disguised remarkably well. Heidi was about to have an enigmatic event. “I had a bad dream, and I decided that I was dating too much.” Heidi took a much more serious tone regarding the online date that followed her dream, “But, then I went and met a guy at Seven Feathers (a casino in Southern Oregon) and with a change in plans, we went to a Mexican restaurant down the street (this put Heidi in his car). I had a really bad feeling about him. He said he hated women. Red Flag! Well, I still got into his car for a drive into the woods-to talk? Similar to my bad dream! He was rude and crude and suggested we meet at a hotel once a week. I asked him to take me back to me car, and told him that I had already called a girlfriend to tell her I was coming home. This was my scariest date!”

Looking back on her internet dating odyssey, Heidi is more knowledgeable and far less willing to subject herself to any risks, “ I’ve had moaners, groaners, stalkers, mama’s boys and guys that have just talked about themselves.” Heidi sage words of advice for any women who are ready to try Internet dating are, “First of all, don’t start dating them right away, get to know them first, because you want to find the right person you are looking for. Do not give them your phone number. Don’t meet them out of town, huge mistake! Don’t let them see where you live. Meet them in a public place. I also suggest that you let one person you know, know where you are going, or where you are. Do not ever go to their home on the first date! Also, if they are not quick-witted on the email, forget them!”

Heidi still believes it is possible to find true love on the Internet, “You have to date a lot of frogs; you will know as soon as you meet them if they are the right person. Do not settle, it is worth the effort, because I met the ‘Right Guy,’ and I’m happy, in love, and we are planning to be married!”

Valerie Kelly