Dear Sal,
Recently, I was hired for a job that I am really excited about. It is a job that I have wanted for a long time. I feel very lucky as it is so difficult to find a job in this economy. The dilemma I am facing is that I just discovered I am pregnant. This is very exciting news for me as well. Do I tell my new employer this news before I start the job or after I start the job? I don’t want any thing to jeopardize it. What do I do?
Anxious Mama
Dear Anxious Mama,
Relax! It would be unfair business practices if an employer was to ask if you were pregnant on an application or in an interview. You are being employed for your merit. Keep your personal condition to yourself until it has become obvious. When you start working, prove yourself worthy and do the best job possible. If your employer is worthy of you, they will work with you throughout your pregnancy. Be indispensable!
Sal Dear Sal
My eighteen-year-old son has developed a relationship on line with a sixteen-year-old girl. He lives in Oregon, and she lives in Texas. The relationship has grown, and now they are celebrating their anniversary, she even mailed him a ring. I do not see this as a healthy relationship; she is manipulative, often overly dramatic to get his attention. One evening he and I spent hours on the phone with her when she said she wanted to kill herself. Another time she called our home every three minutes waiting for him to return, she had crises and needed to talk to him. What can I do to end this toxic situation?
Concerned Mother
Dear Concerned Mother,
My first question is why you became a part of the hours of phone drama? I understand your concerns; you cannot tell an eighteen-year-old boy to end his relationship regardless of its problems. What you can do is align yourself with your son in order to learn everything you can and pose questions to him about different situations, “How do you feel about that?” “What do you think would happen if…” Things that allow him to come to his own conclusions about her actions. The only one to end his relationships in life is him; give him the tools to make those choices for life.
Good Luck
Sal
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